Blind people - sorry - VI people - sorry - require apologies for everyone else’s proximal existence. Sorry.

I’m getting off a train through some double doors. Have you seen those things? They’re huge. There is plenty of room for two people to exit the train at the same time, even if one or both are morbidly obese. The man next to me - not morbidly obese, neither am I, I might add - notices my cane and apologises as he exits at the same time as me. What for? His presence? Or mine?

I’ve decided that he probably panicked, felt awkward and then apologised for feeling awkward; forgetting that I couldn’t actually hear his awkward thoughts in the first place. It's amazing how often this happens and how much it makes me think about how "abnormal" i must seem to the majority of the world...I shan't apologise for it though :)

Blind people love being directed even when they know exactly where they are going

I’m walking down a busy high street. There is a constant stream of people approaching me. My cane is particularly useful in these situations as most people tend to avoid me and walk either side , allowing me to concentrate on where i am, not who i’m avoiding in that second (My friends say i look like Moses, parting a sea of people).

Occasionally, however, someone will feel the need to dramatically step to the side, lower a shoulder and gesture the way in which i am already walking. One might remember such a scene from Disney Princess films where the helpless princess must be guided up the straight and unconfusing path by hundreds of bowing footmen.

Yes thankyou stranger, i was totally unsure of where to go when continuing to follow this straight road that i’ve been walking for a few minutes now. your theatrical guidance, whilst entertaining, was perhaps a little distracting though and i ended up tripping on an uneven paving slab.

Blind people are not allowed to be considered attractive

Walking along a street very close to home one evening, I was wolf-whistled from a car approaching from behind.  I turned my head to look as they drove alongside me and I wish I had seen their faces fall as I heard them exclaim:

“Ah mate! She’s blind! She has a cane! You can’t wolf-whistle a blind girl!”

Not that wolf-whistling is exactly synonymous with flattering but…

Why not?

Are blind people, by definition, not attractive people? I clearly was from behind, and that's enough for most wolf-whistling idiots :)

Blind people need God...or to be less pretty

“Excuse me young lady! Can I just say, your glasses are exquisite!”

“Well, thank you very much, I quite enjoy them, too!” (They are a very fun and bright shade of teal.)

“They make the blue of your eyes really pop, it is quite beautiful!”

“Well, thank you very much!” I said again, unsure of how else to respond to a compliment from a man older than my father.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

I sensed the elephant-in-the-world that is my cane was about to be acknowledged.

“What is that?” he pointed.

Okay. There have been worse questions.

“This is my cane,” I recited. “I use it because I am visually impaired and I don’t want to walk into people in town.”

A look of profound sadness crossed my complimenter’s face. “But you have such pretty eyes!”

Impatience touched at the edges of my mind, the way it always does when strangers feel entitled to lament my life to my face. “Well, thank you, but sadly the appearance of my iris has nothing to do with the function of my optic nerve.” I forced myself to laugh it off with no small amount of sarcasm.

“But you’re so young!” Again with the sadness. Would you also be sad if I had a bad haircut, or had a broken arm?

“Well, yes,” I sighed. “I am about half of your age, but again, my age has very little to do with the functioning of my optic nerve.” I gave The Complimenter a little more background as to when I had lost my sight.

This was not received with much enthusiasm. Instead, the conversation stepped sideways. “You are dressed very nicely. I love the coordination of your coat and scarf. Did someone help you with that?”

I explained that I was capable of seeing colour and pattern myself and that I very much dressed myself. As I did everything in my life. Myself.

Again, my words didn’t seem to have much influence. “Can I pray for you?”

I politely declined. At this stage, I felt that it wouldn’t be amiss to give two, I think, very good reasons:

1. I am not religious and therefore feel it would be insulting to both parties.
   
2. I can’t think of a possible reason why I would need to be prayed for based on the information he had acquired today.

“Okay,” The Complimenter seemed to acknowledge. “But if you were to let me pray for you, it would go something like this: ….”

I was unable to contain my hostility at this point. I glared. As with much of my input up until now, it went unnoticed - which is quite impressive, as I have it on good authority that my eyeballs are extremely expressive.

“It is such a shame that a girl as young, pretty and confident as you should bear this burden…” The prayer went on to inform me of how God could work miracles and save me from this burden.

I stopped him. Why, I asked, was it particularly important to that I was young pretty and confident in this interpretation of my situation? Would it be ok for me to be going blind if I fitted his definition of ugly a little better?

“Because these are good things in your life that will be affected by this”

I stayed quiet.

You can probably imagine that I was really rather angry at this point, and on top of that, I was confused and frustrated as to why I should be expected to tolerate such ignorance and rudeness simply because I’m VI. And the milkshake shop was closing soon and I really wanted a milkshake. The conversation was just going to have to end, and I would have to accept my failure to educate this particular individual.

Before I could interrupt, a tirade of last-minute well-meant abuse was launched my way.

I was told that I must try to appreciate myself, and my uniqueness (I do). Although I might feel lonely (I don’t) and like I don’t have an impact in this world (I’m a rocket scientist, actually), I should keep going because God put me here for a reason and I do make a difference in this world (I know, and it’s because of my own hard work, not some divine being’s will).

And that is what I must hold on to, I learnt. Stories about starfish and quotes from the bible illustrated this grand tale of enlightenment.

I said thank you and left.

I was cross, and upset, and I wanted to cry a little bit…

…This stupid conversation had dragged on and now the milkshake shop was closed.

Blind people are unaware of the extent of their own sight loss

Trips to the optician are usually quite an entertaining experience. My eye condition isn’t very common, so the optician usually likes to have a good nose around, do a few extra tests and get all the students to come and have a good look around my diseased optic nerves.

I’d recently moved to a new city and around the same time, became quickly aware that my prescription happened to have changed. I made an appointment at my new, local opticians.

It was part of quite a well-known chain but I’d never had an experience with them before, so I quickly informed the, I assume qualified, optician of my visual impairment before she got a fun surprise when she began the tests.

She quickly brushed off my eye condition, telling me it wasn’t that big a deal and began the eye exam. I found this odd, but decided that she would probably realise the extent of my impairment as she moved through the examination. Besides, this was unlikely to affect the outcome of my new prescription anyway.

I dutifully read the snellen wall chart. I prepared for her to examine the back of my eye. I anticipated her shock when she saw the pale and lumpy bumpy surface of my optic nerve… But, no. She made no particular comment and quickly moved on to write out my prescription.

I thought for sure that she would send me for a visual field test - which is pretty standard procedure these days and takes forever on me because I can’t see most of the test - but she didn’t. Fair enough. Would’ve been a waste of my time anyway.

I stood to leave and attempted to centre myself in the doorway (surprisingly difficult). Unfortunately, I was minorly unsuccessful and the right side of my body collided loudly with the doorframe. Awkward.

I laughed it off.  “I’m so blind!” I smiled. Better to keep the mood light and let her know that I was okay, than to grimace at the growing bruises.

The optician, however, did not see the funny side. She responded quite abruptly. “There is very little wrong with your eyesight. You’re lucky to be able to see so well. Clumsiness isn’t the same as blindness.”

Needless to say I walked straight out of Specsavers and went to Boots instead.

Blind people are desperate

I was walking towards a local cocktail bar one night, bundled up in boots, coat and scarf (cane in hand) when I heard two men at the pub to the left of me talking.

“Mate! Look at her!”

You are probably very well aware that this is a fairly standard comment from a tipsy man when a not unattractive woman walks past. I took no notice and continued to walk.

Background info: it is not a myth that some people with sight loss often develop the use of their other senses to help compensate; in my case, my hearing.

“She is at least an 8, and she’s totally blind so she’s probably gagging for it and won’t care how ugly you are!”

Confronting drunk people when alone in the street at night isn’t always advisable. So I felt that I did the men in my life (who would have had words with me for doing just that) proud; I just chuckled to myself as I imagined turning around, ramping up the sass they love so much and responding politely with:

“No, I can’t see how ugly you are, but I can hear your desperation and it puts you at maybe a 2 on my scale. I’m not sure you could handle the sensory adventure a blind girl can provide anyway...”.

Of course i would then turn on my heel and hair flick dramatically as I continued on my journey. It would have been quite spectacular.

Blind people should try glasses... but if that won’t work, blind people should leave the attractive men to people who can see them

We’ve recently acquired a new housemate - let’s call her Plum - after the tragic loss of our old one to a bad case of ambition. Apparently we weren’t good enough to keep her here. It’s fine. I’m totally not sad about it at all.

Anyway, I told Plum I was visually impaired shortly after she moved in. It’s not really the kind of thing you could or should keep from people you live with, so I encouraged her to ask any questions she had. I didn’t want her to ever feel uncomfortable or unsure about it.

She began with the usual: “So what can you see?”

…I recited my well rehearsed speech that usually answers most questions

but she, understandably, had many anyway.

“Have you been to the opticians, maybe glasses will help?”

…and as I explained why this is not an option for me…

“Well isn’t there some kind of laser eye surgery you can have?”

“No, no, this is incurable.” Because y’know, I’m just ignoring glasses and cures for fun!

A look of pity swept across her face, so I put on my biggest smile and happiest tone of voice (as I often find myself doing when explaining my sight to people) in an attempt to convince her that I really am happy and ok with my eye condition and she should be, too.

A few days later she got brave.

She decided that now was the time to talk about relationships.

“Do you worry that you won’t be able to find a good man because your eyesight makes you less desirable?”

A cheeky, but fair question. It is well known, I think, that people with disabilities are often seen as less attractive (wrongfully so) as they are often portrayed to be less confident individuals that could be quite dependent on a partner. And that is often not the case - definitely not in mine. If anyone dares to help me too much, I get fidgety and make strange noises in protest.

“It is something that has crossed my mind before,” I replied measuredly. “But I feel that, if I can accept it and do awesome things with the sight that I have, that should be enough for other people to accept it too. So no, it’s not something that worries me.”

She considered. “Ah, okay. But since you can’t see all that well… will you take a less good looking man so that the rest of us can appreciate the good looking ones?”

I thought this was a joke.

On reflection, I think she was sincere.

I mean I literally waited for her to signal that it was a joke, but it never happened.